


After the Barbecue

by railmedaddy



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Episode: s04e07 The Barbecue, Introspection, Light Angst, M/M, Patrick Brewer loves David Rose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:00:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29704410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/railmedaddy/pseuds/railmedaddy
Summary: My truth is that I’m damaged goods and this has really messed things up for me.Patrick can’t stop hearing the pain in David’s voice and seeing the hurt on his face when he’d said those words to him. He hates that he was the cause of that pain, when he’d sworn to himself that he wouldn’t become one of David’s sad stories, one of his reasons for keeping his walls so high.Or, what Patrick did, after the barbecue.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 14
Kudos: 122





	After the Barbecue

**Author's Note:**

> A friend asked me to write about what Patrick was thinking and doing to cope after the barbecue, so I did. J, this is for you xo
> 
> Thank you to my wonderful friends, for encouraging me to share this with the fandom. I'm new to this fic writing thing. Enjoy!

_My truth is that I’m damaged goods and this has really messed things up for me_.

Patrick can’t stop hearing the pain in David’s voice and seeing the hurt on his face when he’d said those words to him. He hates that he was the cause of that pain, when he’d sworn to himself that he wouldn’t become one of David’s sad stories, one of his reasons for keeping his walls so high.

He wishes he’d told David about Rachel, but had never been able to find the words. How could he tell this man, _his boyfriend_ , who had so many trust issues, that he’d proposed to his long term girlfriend, his childhood sweetheart, and then with little warning, broken up with her and left town without so much as a glance back at the life they had intended to build together. How did he tell David about that, while reassuring him that he wouldn’t do it again this time. How did he tell David, who was so charmed by his seemingly normal life, that while he did his best to exude confidence about himself and his sexuality in this little town, no one in his past knew the truth. No one outside Schitt’s Creek knew that he was gay.

Except Rachel. 

He still loved Rachel. She had always been his best friend and confidante. Until she wasn’t. He missed her deeply. The realisation that he wanted to talk to her about this situation with David, because there was no one else who knew him well enough hurt. He knew that Rachel would say that she didn’t know him anymore. She’d said that to him, at the motel.

 _Paddy, I think I might always love you deep down. But I don’t know you anymore. The Paddy I knew and loved would never have walked away from me without an explanation. Now that I know why, I get it. But you hurt me and I need time. I’ll keep your secret, but I can’t be your friend right now_.

Patrick wiped the tears from his face. He flipped his pillow over and tried to get comfortable. He knew he had to sleep. Someone had to open the store tomorrow and he was certain it wouldn’t be David, though they hadn’t spoken about it. He reached for his phone.

**David, I’ve got the store tomorrow. Take all the time you need. I’m sorry. P x**

He stared at his phone, willing the bubbles that meant David was typing to appear. He was about to give up and put the phone down when the bubbles started. Then stopped. Then started again before stopping with no message. Patrick sighed and plugged his phone in to charge for the night. He turned off his lamp when the screen lit up with a notification. Holding his breath he opened the message.

**I know thank you**

He closed his eyes. He could make this work. He could make it better. He just needed sleep.

***

He didn’t sleep. Patrick gave up on any real sleep at 4am and went for a hike, hoping that it would help him to escape his thoughts. He pushed himself hard, set a personal record for time on that particular hike.

Not wanting to sit in his room wallowing, Patrick got dressed and left for the store. He’d do inventory until opening time. He stopped at the cafe for his tea and a muffin. Ordered two muffins, before realising that David wouldn’t be in today and changing his order. Twyla had given him a sympathetic look. As if she had known what had happened already. Of course word had spread quickly. He wondered whether the town had taken sides and if so, whether there was anyone on his side. He didn’t want there to be any sides.

Unlocking the doors to Rose Apothecary, Patrick stepped in and took a shaky breath. This was just like any other day when he opened on his own. He almost always opened the store on his own. This was just like one of David’s regular days off. He could do this.

It was busier than usual that day, almost as if the town had wanted to see what was happening. No one said anything out of the ordinary to him, and yet, he could feel them all _looking_. Every time he heard the bell above the door, he looked, hopeful despite knowing that it wouldn’t be David. It never was.

Late in the day, he was in the back room when he heard the bell followed by “ding ding!”

Stevie. 

Patrick took a breath and squared his shoulders, not knowing whether he was going to be met by friend or foe. Stevie had every right to take David’s side, he expected that she would. She’d barely said two words to him at the motel, except to tell him that she’d take David’s plate of food to him and to answer his question about which room Rachel was in. But she was his friend too, or so he hoped.

“You’re an idiot.”

“Hi Stevie.”

“What were you thinking?! You know what he’s like. He told you about me, about Jake, about Sebastien and who knows what else. You couldn’t tell him about Rachel?”

Patrick hung his head, rubbing the back of his neck. He shrugged. There was nothing he could say to her. “I’ve ruined everything,” it came out as a whisper.

Something flickered in Stevie’s face before she schooled it to her usual nonchalant expression. “You’re an idiot, but so is he.”

He looked at her, unsure what she meant.

“He needs space, Patrick, but don’t give up on him like everyone else did.”

“You didn’t.”

“No, I didn’t. But I’m me. I don’t count. You’ve got work to do” She gave him a quick grin. “Win him back, I don’t wanna be stuck with him forever. You can start by giving me this wine that I’m going to try and get him to drink with me tonight.”

Something approximating a smile crossed his face. At least David had Stevie.

***

He sent flowers, hoping they would be enough to get David to talk to him so he could explain. David sent a text and a photo:

**Thank you for the flowers**

Then silence. Patrick drove to Elm Glen to pick up chocolates from the store David loved, leaving them at the motel with Stevie on his way back to opening the store, an hour later than usual.

A text: 

**The chocolates are delicious, I didn’t know they delivered.**

**They don’t, David. I’m glad you like them**.

**I’m not ready to come back to the store yet. Hope that’s ok**

**Okay David. Let me know when you’re ready x**

Then silence. A book he knew David had wanted, ordered with next day delivery even though the cost was a rort. It would be worth it if David just spoke to him.

Another text:

**Thanks, I didn’t realize I’d mentioned this to you**

**You’re welcome, David, hope you enjoy it x**

Then silence.

***

Patrick didn’t know what else to do. The gifts weren’t prompting anything more than brief texts from David, nothing that invited conversation and they really needed to speak in person anyway. He thought about going to the motel and demanding David speak to him. But he knew that would only push David further away if he wasn’t ready to talk to him.

He groaned and cursed his stupidity at allowing this to happen. He’d had _it_ . He was in, he’d been _all in_. He had known it since seeing David get up on that stage with that ridiculous hair and in that outfit to sing with his mom. David Rose was a good person and he’d known that night for certain that he was deeply in love with him. They’d been so happy, the open mic night had gone so well and he’d been able to show David that he loved him without saying the words that he knew would send David running scared.

Except Rachel had shown up unannounced and David had run anyway. Not that Rachel was to blame. The only person to blame here was him. 

***

Patrick walked to the cafe to pick up his dinner. The sympathetic smiles Twyla had been giving him all week were getting to be too much. He’d managed to get through the past few days without seeing the Roses. He wasn’t sure what he’d say to Mr and Mrs Rose if he ran into them. They’d been so welcoming to him and had seemed happy about him and David. It was nice, especially as he couldn’t tell his own parents about David just yet. They knew about him as a friend and business partner, but they couldn’t _know_ about David. He should really tell them, he knew that. He wanted to tell them, just not over the phone. He couldn’t tell them now. What was there to say? _Hi Mom, Dad, I’m gay and I ruined my first gay relationship and now my business partnership might fall apart and I might have to leave town again._

“Button!”

Patrick caught himself before he literally walked into Alexis outside the cafe. “Alexis, uh hi” he shoved his hands deep into his pockets, shoulders rising towards his ears. 

“I’ve missed you!” Alexis is smiling as if nothing had happened, bracelets jangling as her arms moved. 

“Oh, um, how is … are … things?”

She blinks both eyes, but he thinks she’s trying to wink. “ _Things_ are sad. But maybe, like, a little less sad than a few days ago.”

“That’s good, I guess. I’m glad he’s- _things_ are less sad” he says, rocking back on his heels. 

“Don’t you look so sad Button! He’ll come back to you. Especially if you keep sending presents!! It’s like when I went to Australia with Liam Hemsworth and I got mad cos he had to go film a movie or whatever and left me in a cute tiny little beach town on my own. So he sent me little presents and it made me like, so happy to get them!” He can’t help but smile at Alexis’ story, “anyway, he likes the presents!”

Patrick quirks an eyebrow at her, “does he now.”

“He’s still like, mopey and sad. But he smiles a little bit when he gets presents.”

“Got it.”

“Or maybe don’t, cos he’s all gross when he’s happy with you.” Alexis taps him on the chest for emphasis then flounces off before he can say anything else. 

Unsure what to think of that conversation, he walks away from the cafe, getting halfway home before realizing he didn’t pick up his dinner and turning around. 

***

Patrick strums his guitar, singing softly. He sighs. He was hoping that playing would be a distraction but all it’s doing is reminding him of the open mic night. Singing to David, pouring his heart out to him in song. Watching the transformation of David’s face as it moved slowly from skeptical and embarrassed, to surprised, to happy, to … something that looked a whole lot like love. Though David would never have admitted to the last point. 

He has to find a way to fix things with David, he’s not ready to let what they had go, but he’s beginning to wonder exactly what it’s going to take to get David to talk to him. Alexis had said that he liked the gifts, but all he’d gotten from sending those was a few short text messages to say thank you and tell him that David was still not coming to the store. One more gift, and if that doesn’t work he’ll have to come up with something better. More direct. 

“This can’t be over yet” he said out loud, to no one.

He lies on his bed, staring at the ceiling, blinking back the wetness in his eyes. Not for the first time since the ill fated barbecue, he wished he could talk to someone about all of this. He wished there was someone to reassure him that sometimes, everything works out. He wanted to call his mom. They were close once, but he couldn’t bring himself to come out to her like this. He’d imagined telling her by introducing her to David in person. Or by telling her that actually, yes, he was seeing someone now and it was David, who she already knew a little from the store.

Patrick wondered whether he should text Stevie for advice. She knew David better than anyone, including, apparently, him. She’d know the best way to get through to him. But he knew from David that they’d gone away for the night. He wondered if the wine he’d asked the restaurant to give them was good, if David was thinking of him when he drank it.

He rolled over and buried his face in the pillow. It still smelled faintly of David. What if this was it and he couldn’t fix things? He’d be left smelling his pillow, hoping the scent of David didn’t fade too quickly. He groaned at how pathetic he was being.

He pictured David, his dark swooping hair, the expressive eyebrows that spoke a language all of their own. His beautiful espresso colored eyes. The way his mouth quirked to the side. God, his mouth, perfect lips framed by just the right amount of stubble to scrape against his skin when … Patrick covered his face. He had to stop this, it wasn’t helping. He adjusted himself, half hard just at the thought of David kissing him.

He thought of David’s neck, the spot he’d claimed as his own, the silver chain he wore, usually hidden under his sweaters - the chain! Patrick sat up. He’d already bought a bracelet to match the chain, keeping it for David’s Christmas present or their 6 month anniversary. Maybe David was right, maybe celebrating monthly anniversaries was tempting fate. He’d leave the bracelet at the motel early tomorrow morning, stop in before his hike.

***

Patrick was standing alone in the store again. What if the gifts had been too much? Was he putting too much pressure on David? He’d asked for space and that wasn’t what he’d given him. All he’d wanted to do was show David that he was still in, that he still wanted _him_. But what if, in doing that, he’d actually driven David away?

The bell above the door sounded. He looked over but he’d just about given up hope that it would be David. Except. It was. David was there. Patrick had to remind himself to breathe. He looked good. Was that … a leather sweater?! In summer!

***

Sitting in a chair in their store, David dancing and lip syncing around him, Patrick watched. He marveled at the fact that he was getting a second chance at this. Vowed to himself that he wasn’t going to screw it up this time. He knew that they needed to talk, but for now, he was going to drink in the sight of his boyfriend dancing for him, trying his best not to just grab him and pull him in. To let David give him this olive branch, this piece of himself, out there for everyone to see. The significance of what David was doing wasn’t lost on Patrick. He knew that it wasn’t easy for David to make himself vulnerable in public. He knew that he was doing this for him, to show Patrick that he wanted this too. That he wanted _him_ too.

The music ended and Patrick stood, striding over to where David was waiting, breathless but smiling. He held his arms out and David threw his arms around him, holding him tight. Patrick breathed him in, savouring the feeling of David surrounding him. He pulls back just enough that he can look David in the eye.

“Hi.”

“Hi yourself.”

“That was something else.”

“Ok, I can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing so I’m going to need more words. Or praise, lots of praise.”

“That was wonderful David, I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Mmkay, I can’t tell if you’re mocking me or not.”

Patrick laughed “David, you were wonderful. I loved it. I l-” He stopped himself by kissing David hard. He’d missed the feel of David’s lips on his, missed losing himself in the moment and so he poured his everything into this kiss, trying to show David what he felt. 

They were interrupted by David’s stomach growling. David laughed.

“Take me to dinner?”

“Okay David.”

  
  
  


  
  



End file.
